About that time I hid under my manager’s desk and grabbed his knees when he sat down: I’m not sorry
About that time I was too young to know better, and pretended to be wheel-chair bound while using mass transit all the way to the concert so that I’d have a seat: Bad judgment, but I learned a lot…
About those times I sent email from many colleagues’ computers, assuming their own unique personal stream of consciousness voices: I’d do it again of course.
About that time I claimed to my friend that another friend had taken off in his car to go after some neighborhood ne’er-do-wells to fight them: You really thought that Billy punched that guy in the face?
About that time I filled your umbrella with paper holes from the hole-puncher, and then closed it up again: I would really like the opportunity to do that again.
About that time after the homemade pizza party, you said I couldn’t take a slice home for lunch, but after I licked it you changed your mind. It was delicious.
About that time I held back your coat sleeve while pretending to help you on with your coat, making you stick your arm out about ten times until you figured it out: It’s just a habit I have – blame my uncle.
About that time I saw you on the video monitor of the elevator, and the security guard let me give you directions via the intercom on “how to stand in an elevator:” I don’t think I’ve ever been that happy.
About that time I left “Thinking of You” cards on two colleagues’ chairs, signed by each of them to the other: It brought you both together for a brief, confusing moment.
About that time I smashed my shopping cart into yours at the supermarket, while expressing how happy I was to see you both, and then followed you around making loud comments about your food choices: It was the start of something great.
About that time I started a small fire in your car while driving down Mountain Avenue: What a nervous Nelly you were!
Regarding that time I chased you around the basement with a dead mouse and you died of a heart attack: Sorry.