Author Archives: Mr I. Gas

I don’t want to go to Brooklyn

We are a stupid people.  All you need to apprehend this reality is to drive in a car from New Jersey to Brooklyn. The colossal congestion,  cookie-crumbling condition of the roads, failure to plan for capacity, the refusal of the … Continue reading

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From the Minutes of the Meeting of the Department of Redundant Entropy Department 

The alarm rings.  Dunlop’s head jerks up and his fist jerks down to smash the clock into silence. Aloud, he emphatically says “yes, yes, yes” over and over before switching to “no, no, no, no.”  He lets his head fall … Continue reading

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Don’t Be Stupid

Trying to be helpful, I pointed out this graffito to America some decades ago………but to no apparent avail.

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People Offer Worthy Observations in the Morning

This morning my outgoing, ruddy and bearded petrol attendant, we’ll call him Joey, was issuing forth his usual ‘guten tagen on your noggins’ to me and a fellow named Dave who was driving by in his van. He used ‘phuckin’ … Continue reading

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Goodbye Couch

Eulogy for a couch from the 1950s: This couch (we never were ‘sofa’ people) served the hindquarters of family and friends who made their incarnational debuts somewhere between 1885 and 2014.  It is heading to the Food Bank, and from there … Continue reading

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About That Time

About that time I hid under my manager’s desk and grabbed his knees when he sat down:  I’m not sorry About that time I was too young to know better, and pretended to be wheel-chair bound while using mass transit … Continue reading

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Lobster Ashtray Listens to Dizzy

This lobster ashtray, previously owned by Dizzy, was caught listening to Night in Tunisia the other morning.  Thank you WBGO. It’s not much of a post.  Perhaps you had to be there.

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