Fleeing from Turkmenistein on an Escape Goat

I fear that my lunch-mates and I were misunderstood when our typically wayward conversation veered into the topic of whether the country in question was pronounced “Turkmenistein” or “Turkmenisteen.” Those of Jewish heritage preferred “stein” while Bruce fans preferred “steen” of course.  Regardless, we faced some disapprobation in the room.
As we took a stroll outside afterwards, MB from eastern Europe commented “Well, you know everybody needs an escape goat.” AC, from even further east, commented, “I thought it was a scrape goat.” I had hopes MB and AC had coined new variations on “scapegoat” but it was not the case. In fact, there’s a game called Escape Goat out there, and the urban dictionary says ‘scrape goat” is a goat that eats toilet paper.
MB admits that he sometimes “breaks the English.”
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What will you not remember when you are 88?

You would think that someone who was in his forties during the Sixties would remember what a hippie was, but it was not the case with my father.  Here is the email transcript of the conversation we had when it became clear that “hippie” had been erased from his brain space:

Grandpa: You need a haircut.
I said, ‘What about you?  you look like a damn hippie‘.

He said:  what’s a hippie?

I said, “Ma, tell Dad what a hippie is”

Grandma:  Hippies wore old clothes

Grandpa:  They had closed noses?

Grandma:  No, old clothes.

Me:  Anything else?

Grandma: and long hair;  and they were mostly friendly

Grandpa:  Mostly pregnant?

Grandma:  No, mostly friendly

Grandpa:  What’s a hippie?

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Moe Confuses My Colleagues

The Moe Howard key-chain I have on my wall at work drew this remark from my Romanian colleague.  “Why do you have a Chinese guy on your wall?”  No surprise, I suppose, that he didn’t recognize one of the Three Stooges.  A Chinese-born colleague walked by.  He looked at Moe, saying, “That guy looks like my Dad or some angry Chinese old man.”

moe the stooge

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Gas Station Attendant Coins New Salutation

My gas station attendant greeted me with the following phrase the other day: “Guten tagen on your noggin!”  After Googling the phrase I was able to report to him that he is the originator.  He was pleased.

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